I choose Joy

I used to attend a moms group with a facilitator who would organize different ice breaker games at the beginning of each week. They were usually get to know you activities or first impression things. I often got described with "great smile" "always laughing" "Happy".

Happy.

Yes. I was very pleased with these adjectives.
I had EARNED this title.

Happiness does not come easily for me. I am not naturally an upbeat, positive person. I veer automatically towards pessimism, worry, depression.

As a child and adolescent I was pouty, cranky, easily upset and kept a running tally of all the things that justified my melancholy disposition. I was difficult if not impossible to please at times.

I would not have been described as a happy person. Though I wanted to be.
I looked at smiling people, laughing people, people slow to anger and who saw the glass overflowing where mine was leaking. I assumed they must have a better lot in life, more reasons for happiness and potentially a greater degree of ignorance about the world were we live.

It was however when I started to notice people I knew to have much less cause for happiness. People who had great hardship, loss, pain and difficulty in their life and I curiously noticed that they were happy ANYWAY.

I realized that happiness isn't caused by any circumstance or event. No one thing has the power to make one "happy". The promotion, the last ten pounds, the dream car, the big house, the baby, the engagement ring, the vacation home...the lottery ticket. It isn't found there.

Happiness is a decided state of being, and joy is what we feel in moments that remind us why.


I decided that I would be a happy person. Yes. It is that simple....but not easy. I looked for reasons to smile, found humor where I could have found annoyance, beauty in simplicity and contentment in what is.

It wasn't easy. I had to constantly fight my natural tendencies to justify displeasure. I had to stop that mindset frequently and guide my perspective onto a different path. One of gratitude, acceptance and joy.

Gradually my habitual nay-saying lessened. I found that I smiled quickly, I felt lighter, freer and only took on the energy of people around me who radiated what I wanted to feel.

Eventually people started to awkwardly comment "You seem...different".
I smiled.

I don't have to try anymore. Gratitude and joy are my way of being.

I am happy.

Now that I know happiness is something to be taught I am trying to encourage this trait into my children...Their happiness is my greatest dream for them. Authentic happiness, not fleeting fulfillment that can be bought or borrowed. I want them to be satisfied and joyful in their lives.

I changed the name of this blog back to the original title because that is my commitment. Finding joy despite whatever circumstances we might be in. The joy...as they say is not in the destination but in the journey.
And I choose to enjoy it.